60 YEARS...On The Road!

Well, here we are again. This is Dick Foss with stories from the road. And speaking of the road, Ruth and I are just back from a 12-day road trip to California. 2800 miles. That's a lot of driving, my friends. And a lot of talking, a lot of listening to audio books. It was a good deal all the way around because we got to be with family and kids and grandkids and even great-grandkids. So that was good. But I'm thinking about roads today for a very particular reason. I'm recording this on July 27th, 2023. 60 years ago, last night, July 26th, 1963. It was 105 degrees in Modesto, California. And it was the night before Ruth and I married. Today is our 60th wedding anniversary. And I slept there a road. It's Carver Road. Carver Road then was a two-lane country road, hitting Doon North out of Modesto, California, central valley town about 90 miles east of San Francisco in the Great San Joaquin Valley. And when you drive out that road in the summertime, you have the smell of peaches almost baking on the tree. Grapes are in, peaches are in. In these days, it's not as many peaches because they're a tougher crop, I think, to harvest as it is what they call affectionately out there, amans. The rest of the world calls them almonds, but in that strip between Sacrament of California and Bakerfield, California, they're amans. And so my three groomsmen and I slept in sleeping bags on the lawn of my wife to be's home, 62-48 Carver Road, Modesto, California. I don't know why we chose to do that. It was a fun thing to do. And at that time, Carver Road had very few cars on it. Today, it's almost a thoroughfare, so you probably can't do that. But when I think of roads, I think of our whole life together. Ruth and I have now had 60 years together. And our married years can be told by the streets we lived on. I mean, we married in within three weeks after our honeymoon. We loaded up the 1960 Chevrolet Corvair that I got in the deal. It was hers. And we drove to Wheaton College Graduate School. So North President in Wheaton, Illinois for a couple of years. Then we came back to Modesto and I worked with her father. For 16 months, we lived on Land Road. And then we went on after that to the University of Illinois to do a church plant. And it was a dozen years there. And it was on Shirt Street. And we came back for 14 years to Scotts Valley, near Santa Cruz, California. And it was Rabbits Run and Taver Drive. And then back to DC for 15 years, or on to DC for 15 years. And it was Broad Street in Falls Church, Virginia. And then came here to Colorado 15 years ago and had been Red Sky Court and now in Windsor, Colorado. You see, that's a lot of roads. Well, it could be lyrics or titles to country songs the way it reads. But Earth and I in our 60 years have had four 14 to 15 year seasons. In our early 20s from 21 to our early 30s, we were in Illinois, corn and soybeans. And they're at the University of Illinois, which is kind of Athens out in the corn fields. And then back to California to be that college president for in our 30s up to the age of 50. And then on to DC from 50 to mid 60s. And since that time here in Colorado, there's a screenshot on my phone when I opened it up that shows Ruth and me our first Christmas. And we are we are just bright eyed, but she tell us they say I had dark hair and hormone glasses and Ruth looked a lot then like she does now except her hair is a little more gray now than it was then. But what a different 60 years makes. And it makes it in a hundred different ways at dozens of different levels. I'm just gonna I don't have it right here in front of me so I'm gonna turn to it because I meant to have this ready to go. But in Psalm the 71 chapter, you have a fascinating comment more than a comment. It's Psalm 71 verses 17 through 19. Psalm 71 verses 17 through 19. Since my youth God, you have taught me and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds even when I'm old and gray do not forsake me my God till I declare your power to the next generation, your mighty acts to all who are to come. Your righteousness God reaches to the heavens, you who have done great things who is like you God. Love that passage. Psalm 71 verses 17 through 19. And I just put that in the context of the fact that marriage and walking with this same woman and she with me for 60 years shapes us a hundred different ways at dozens of different levels. 60 years has changed me. I know this I can't speak for Ruth but I think I can speak for it in some way but at this moment I'm speaking for myself. It's it's changed how I see God, how I see Ruth, how I see family and extended family. She she taught me about that in some ways. How I see mission, how I see people, how how I see time, how I see the world and here's the here's the kicker, how I see me because the me over 60 years has changed. Hopefully it's grown, hopefully it has gotten mellow where it needs to. Hopefully some of the sharp edges have been rubbed off but a few days ago with children and greats and grands they asked the question, how do you stay married for 60 years? Let me pause right there and parenthetically read again 1 Corinthians 13 this letter that Paul the Apostle wrote 2000 years ago to this town in southern Greece that right now is baking in this intense heat and I want to read it again I've read it several times over the last number of months as we've gone through 1 Corinthians 13 but I want to read it in the paraphrase of Eugene Peterson in the message I love how he says it I love the the feelings and elicits in the way he says it and before we answer before I go on to the answer that we gave our kids and grandkids who asked us how do you stay married for 60 years? I want to read this 1 Corinthians 13 verses 1 through 8 if I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate if I speak God's word with power revealing all his mysteries making everything plain as day and if I have faith that says to a mountain jump in a jumps but I don't love I'm nothing if I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr but I don't love I've got nowhere so no matter what I say what I believe and what I do I bankrupt without love and here he unpacks it as we say love never gives up love cares more for others than for self love doesn't want what it doesn't have love doesn't strut doesn't have a swelled head doesn't force itself on others isn't always me first doesn't fly off the handle doesn't keep score of the sins of others doesn't revel when others grovel takes pleasure in the flowering of truth puts up with anything trust God always always looks for the best never looks back but keeps going to the end when I read that I feel pricked in my heart because there are several places along there where I say well I didn't I didn't do so well their last Tuesday driving across the desert of Nevada so the question is how do you stay married for 60 years Ruth's first comment was listen and by that she means listening I think with an ear to understand so often we listen in relationships and we get our response or our reaction or our retort ready to answer whatever it is but listen to what is being said secondly is laugh you got to have humor if you're going to stay together you have to and in the first place you need to laugh is that yourself my friend laugh at yourself make fun of yourself so other people can relax I mean there's plenty to make fun of isn't there so make fun of yourself and laugh at the moment sometimes under pressure things go crazy and everything seems to go wrong doesn't get any better with pressure does it but laugh at yourself and laugh at the moment and then find things to laugh at together that bring you joy and the third thing is forgive we all need it for large and small the dear friend of years back doctor Dick Dobbins who taught marriage and family University of Akron said at this way marriage is an ongoing series of forgiveness so as we celebrate this day July 27th 2023 Ruth our 60th year the end of our 60th year so 60th anniversary this is what I say to you and the other folks on this podcast can listen in Ruth Jean Blakely who might marry this day who's willing to marry me this day 60 years ago you farm girl you home body thank you for putting up with me who really wasn't a home body a traveling man and traveling the world giving me perspective on life giving me a love for little people along the way not I don't have the gifts you have but thank you for doing that thank you for walking this road of life through thick and thin through storm and sunshine and staying the course you are the best you are my friend at the deepest level when I was afraid to say the L word when I was afraid to say love you sent me a little note in that Elizabethan Shakespearean English that sealed the deal for me and I've shared it before on this podcast but I shared again on the 60th anniversary of that 105 degree day in Modesto California when you sent me the note this is how it read ask for my white gloved hand the hills to Pearl turn the sand to diamonds ask for my lipstick is each star the setting of a diadem shall be but ask for my love and heaven to earth shall come my love you died I bought that hook line and sinker proof both it's been worth the trip love you and for all of you listening thank you for loving the people in your life in the way that Paul describes never give up keep going to the end always look for the best and trust God always that's it for now thick foes on the road I'll catch you next time God bless you