I Like Giving! - Part 1

Well, there you are again, and here I am. This is Dick Boath with stories from the road. We're in the middle of February almost, and as we approach Valentine's Day, I had this thought, why don't we do a couple of podcasts that focus on the heart of what love really looks like and how it works. A few weeks ago, I had the chance to sit with my friend Brad Formsma, brought up in Michigan now from California, who leads an enterprise, a wonderful movement, if I could call it that, called I Like Giving. Giving is at the heart of what it means to love. So these next two podcasts will focus on our conversation. Well, here we are again, this is Dick Boath, and back in the 1970s, for nine years, I had a radio program, ten minutes on a Saturday morning in Illinois, East Central Illinois, on CBS affiliate, and it was called Wake Up and Live. So this is between sports scoreboard and Charles Osgood's news break on CBS. In many Saturday mornings, I would come up to the microphone and say, top of the morning to you, this is Dick Boath, and it's time to wake up and live. So that's how we're starting this in stories from the road. Once in a while in our lives, we get to meet individuals who, because of their focus, because of their enthusiasm, but because of their joy, they sort of captivate you. And I want you to meet one of those today. And it's been some years since I first met Brad Formsma, but he leads an enterprise, leads a vision, if I could put it that way, called I Like Giving. So we're going to just take this time and talk about that theme, that idea, that vision, that you have captured and built a platform for encouraging people with every English teacher grids their teeth when I say with at the end, but it's okay, it's all right. So just to answer my favorite question, if you would mind, almost always start this way, where was home for you originally? Well, thank you for asking, and thank you for teaching me that question. So I was brought up, not raised, in Grand Rapids, Michigan. And so the first 43 years of our lives, that's where we lived. In California is where you live now. Talk to me about just a couple of things about your growing up years, just as a kid. So I'm the oldest of five. So Dick, when I was about ten, I was mowing the lawn, mompled in the driveway in their old Chevy, or as old to me at the time. And she showed me a grainy picture of what I soon learned was an ultrasound. It was the fall. And she quickly explained that while she thought she was having baby number four, she was, but she was also having baby number five. So my dad said, you know, peat and repeat are coming. And that really set my upbringing to change big, because we went from three to five. And immediately, I'm in this world of the house's upside down, my parents are amazing, but I mean, that's a big shift. And you're the first born. And I'm the first born. So I came in handy later in life when we've had our first born. I knew how to change a diaper, but I tell you that because I was looking for ways to escape as these guys got four, five, six, eight, ten months old, and I found a way out. What's that? And the way out was I had a grandpa who had a commercial baking company. And then he had a special test kitchen next to his office. And on Saturdays, he'd go and make 16 special loaves of bread. And I thought, there it is. I'll tag along with him. I can get out of the house. So I sold him pretty hard on picking me up on those Saturday mornings and we'd go get those loaves baked. And my job was to check and make sure when they cooled down, that the bag and the little plastic spinner was ready to go. So he was all about efficient. And then into this trunk he'd go with these, well, let me say it like this. And then those loaves of bread, now 16 of them, they would just go on that big tray in the trunk. And we'd head out and he would go all over our city to different relationships that he had. Maybe a widow from church that he knew was having a bad week and he'd bring that fresh loaf of bread, he'd squeeze it in her face, he'd kind of smell it right now, he'd get it in the squeezing motion. And then he would just say kind, encouraging words. And we'd get in the car and go with somebody else. And then there might be a loaf of white bread and a white envelope that I'd learn later at a check in it. And he said, oh, they had a financial need. So he gave him a little bread and a little more bread, he thought that was funny. And then maybe another stop would be a letter of recommendation. He just started modeling for me kind of this life of giving that included money, but went farther. He'd share stuff. It was just quite a modeling, very little words, but boy, what did I watch this happen? What was his name? Don. Don. Roscan. So the weekend piece was in addition to his commercial thing that he would do during the week. And that's where you got your. I never saw a recipe. This guy would just do it by feel and he would, he would just kind of finesse it. And usually dick, there was like two little mini loafs, maybe three. He kind of overshot it, the 16 just enough. And those got to be mine. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And they were just so good. So good. Now here's what's important. And I want to be honoring the time, but we moved across town and then something tragic happened. My dad was busy and he worked a lot and God bless him for that. But a bad guy came along and kind of wooed me into working for him and that turned into some really dark, abusive years. And you know, your innocence is stolen and all this and he saw a work ethic in me and he exploited that along with the dad. He was working all the time. And so I began to be bitter towards God. I kind of prayed some early prayers, but you know, then this tragic life changing thing happens and it's just horrible and lots of threats. He was wealthy. He was influential. So it's just a dark, dark season. The time would go on. I got married and got into the landscaping business and I found I liked money. I liked to make it. I didn't really like to give it until I turned 28 and our first son came into the world and we did a little private family dedication as you do with blessing a kid or whatever you call it then. And I told the pastor, do it nice, make it good, I'll pay, he said we don't really charge for these things. This is kind of what we do here at church. And I was a really good make believer. You know, I had all this in my head from upbringing and from Christian school, but I walked out of that dedication because that pastor only talked for two minutes and I had a burp up all this Christian ease and we want Dan to grow up in a Christian home and we want all of you. And I walked into the hallway. I can still see it like I'm looking at you like just the other day. There I am in that narthex and I get this, you got to accept a reject. We can't keep doing this phony dance. And I went home and I prayed something like Lord have your way with me. I know that's not one of the normal scripted alter calls, but everything began to change and here's what's significant. All those seeds planted from grandpa and he would bring scripture at times into things. It was like those seeds were just dormant, bam. I get right with God and before you know it, I'm like thinking about giving and previous to that, I was thinking about spending and accumulating and so I always say to parents and grandparents, don't give up on teaching that giving message. You might not see any fruit for a while, but I think those seeds, they're strong and they can lay dormant for a while. Yeah. So the lights really went on quick, man. You know, I think that point about encouraging parents, grandparents, even great grandparents to plant seeds, you know, your planters in a real way. I'm listening to you, remembering a conversation I had over a dinner table at our home in Falls Church, Virginia years ago now, probably 25 years ago, with the ambassador from Norway. We had met at a little breakfast meeting and we invited him over. His name was Canute Volabeck and I was asking him his story and he said, you know, I used to get up, I think it was on the weekends with my grandfather and his grandfather, I think was either a butcher or what they used to call a green grocer and he said he would take me with him around town to make those deliveries as he put it. And just that fact of going and serving and doing, shaped Canute Volabeck in his own spiritual journey, just like you're talking about, just that same kind of sort of fingerprints, fingers on your soul sort of thing. Now you're not a landscape or anymore, right? You left that when. So in 2005, I was on a run and I was doing something and I know we're not videoing this, I'm smiling as I say, I prayed one of those dangerous prayers of, I was reading a book on the Holy Spirit, which, you know, I had grown up Christian reforms. So there was this kind of idea in my head that God was good and Jesus had died for my sins. Be careful with the Holy Spirit because if he might send you to Africa. Well card. Yeah. Who knows? Yeah. In the words of our friend, batterson, wild goose chase, you know, comes to mind. But I was on a run on a natural beauty road in Michigan in May of 2005 and everything was going perfect. I had this beautiful home, wonderful kids, life's good, neat business in the city. And I prayed this prayer like, Lord, what would you have me do? There's something unsettling in my gut here, I can't, and I got this internal impression of, hey, I'm going to use you to encourage people in their giving and lead to other people having greater hope and joy in their life. And it'll all be based on my word, better to give than receive. And that's all I got. And I went home and put that in the journal and I'm like, I don't even leave for spring vacation. How in the world could you do something out of eight, little old, eight of Michigan? But it wasn't long after that, you know, that I just began to realize that he was calling me to start conversations and create content to get people to think about the generous life and not just think about it, but put it into action. So let me give you a scenario. I had the privilege of doing this once I went to a place where they help young people go into mission things and it's very focused and very, and I asked them something like this question. So I'm on a bus, pick a town any town, you know, it can be wherever in Bulgaria or in Thailand or wherever, Houston, I'm on a bus and you get on and I have three minutes before my next stop. And you want to start a conversation with me that has to do with giving. How do you start such conversations about giving? Well, I mean, I'm laughing as you're talking because I just went to this story, right? You know, only you has story better than me. I mean, I love how you do story. Your life is a story, your new work is story driven and I feel like I've just followed some of that adventure with you and I love it. I also love how much Jesus told stories. So here goes a story. A number of years ago, I had to go to Canada when we lived in Michigan. I got to the, you know, the border guy said, what are you doing here? I said, I'm come to talk about giving. He says, what's that? I said, see that car over there paying the, you know, the toll to get. I said, if I gave them money, then giving, then they could go across and he goes, oh, that go ahead. And I thought, well, you know, maybe it's not that simple and kind of a silly story. But I would say if I had to ask somebody a question, sometimes I'll say, if I want to have this conversation, what does giving mean to you? And you primarily, you get, it gives money and then here comes the follow up. I don't have enough of it or, you know, I got too much of it. I just write a check and move on and it's fascinating and you hear that from kids or adults. Just to be asked to question out of the blue about giving is, I think, I think a fascinating thing anyway, because usually we say, so where you're from or are you going to whatever or the, but that the way you ask questions or just your demeanor, you have this easily approachable personality. And so people, I think, would naturally respond to you, do you ever ask anybody a question about giving and they say, you know, I really, or I don't want to talk, or generally they respond to you? Well, I'm back to your example of the bus or for me, really, the airplane would probably be like the current one. What I find is the power of observation in our lives. So I'm getting on a plane and I do a lot of things because I've tried to grow and hone the giving muscle, which, you know, we talk about the seven ways, be generous with your time and your attention and your words and your influence and your money and how you share your stuff, right? So you put all that together and you got things to do every day if you want, if you want to play. So if I get on a plane and I just happen to notice, a grandpa used to say, get your antenna working. There's all sorts of ways you can do for other people. This is the bread grandpa. Yeah. So here we are, you know, somebody's getting on invariably, somebody's having a struggle getting a bag into overhead bin. And sometimes I'll give out of selfish motive, like I don't need that 40 pound bag that they jammed full of stuff coming down on my head, hey, can I help you with that? But other times it comes out of a hundred percent pure motivation and I help, yeah. That will draw more conversation than me looking to start a conversation about, hey, what do you think about giving? It will be, boy, you just don't see that. Why did you do that? And sometimes I'll say, you know, I'm so glad you asked me. That's somebody's grandma. That's somebody's mom. I think I kind of saw my wife and my mom, but I would hope somebody would step in. Yeah, I find that with opening doors. Yeah. When you open doors for people, especially it's for older people and I'm one of them, you know, I open the door and that she will say, well, thank you very much. And I say, well, I think I think it didn't make my mother proud, which is a variation on what you're talking about. Another one of my tricks is, you know, I love Southwest Airlines for our videos of books that Susanna, your daughter, helps us create. And then I get to go out and try to figure out how to market them and get them to the world. She said something to me the other day that was so great. She's like, we can write these great kids books, but somebody's got to get them in front of people. That's hard. And I said, yeah, thanks for reminding me. But I had it where I'll bring a prepackaged. Don't bring your homemade biscuits to a flight attendant. But if it's prepackaged gummies or sneakers, they kind of work their way around the cabin. You know, they're all enclosed and that people notice that. And then you see, you know, you just, by the way, I'm Dutch, so I'll buy it maybe some of them at Walmart day before the trip, not 19 dollar gummies at the airport, but if I'm feeling spending, maybe, you know, and I'll sit down and somebody go, hey, yeah, I saw what you did. What would you see? No, that made me feel good. Why that? Why don't you do that? I said, well, you know, I mean, it's fun. I said, have you noticed how people are kind of grumpy when they fly? I said, this is the fastest way to be a happy flyer because, you know, God created us to do this. Our friend Mark Patterson says you can get on a plane. He says he can change the atmosphere by smiling. I don't know what else he's doing. I've never flown with him, but I think I've been known to smile. So, I have a friend and he doesn't remember telling me this story, okay? But I didn't hear it from anybody else. He's big. He's six, eight. Wonderful guy. And he was in Japan and he was taking the train from Nareda Airport to Tokyo. It's a very, very, and they have pushers in Japan where they cram you on the train and stuff. And so he's cheeked by Jal, as we would say, in my British colonial days growing up, you know, crammed in and he's towering over everybody and they're all serious. And he carries a harmonica in his pocket. And he said he just reached into his pocket and started playing. It's a small world after all. And all of a sudden people start coming alive and singing this thing just in that gift, the gift of a song, a kid song, right, in the middle. I love this. I love you just telling stories about this. But you took this, I mean, I know hundreds of people who are generous. I know hundreds of people who give and do the things like that. But not all of them say, well, I think I'll give my whole life to that and start a charitable organization and an exercise. So where did that transpire in time and place? Yeah. So, you know, the calling or that moment in 2005 and then in 2007 sold this smaller landscaping business. It was the fourth largest in the city, but I always say smaller because it wasn't like I got 20 million bucks and let's pick something fun to do like talk about generosity. I have a friend who said to me one day, I want to help you. I want you to look at your life and look for themes and then pick six words. And we're going to spend the next month kind of creating a statement for your life. And what we came up with was entrepreneurial spirit. Life passion is giving. And we went way back to when I was seven or eight years old collecting cans and then what I like to think and dream about today and you know, being living and teaching the generous life the way Jesus would have us talk about it. So for me, I thought, man, what do entrepreneurs do? They find things that are missing or fix things that are broken. And what was missing to me was a succinct way to tell a story based on a biblical principle in a way that would make somebody go, I might not go by somebody bikes and I can tell you that story. But it got me to do something else because I think that generosity inspires generosity. And so it's a great teacher, which we know, right? Jesus was a great, the great teacher. So he was always using stories. So that's how I got started and we started with short videos and remember the days back when we called it Vimeo and we would have this terrible word come up called buffering. Oh, it would just, you know, kill me now. I mean, it's just loading it. You'd get right at the great spot of the story and then it would buffer. You're going to do that to me and then a little more. You know, and so that's how we started and so a lot of video content wasn't out there and they that went crazy across the globe that just around the globe, people like these I like giving short videos that we produced with excellence. And that's how we started it. Let's inspire people to live generously. And then is the years have gone on, you know, publisher came along and said, you've got these great stories. Let's put them in a book. And that was a moment because I said, you need to know I cheated in high school English. And so I don't think I'm your guy. And they said, no, we can help people like you. And then I started thinking about all these other authors and like they cheat in high school in English too. I don't know. Funny enough, a few years ago in Holland, Michigan in the summer, I was in a bookstore. And I came around the aisle and I bumped into my English teacher and she goes, Brad forms Mo, what are you up to? I took a big deep breath. I said, Mrs. Demeister, I wrote a book and she fell into the bookshelf. Of course he said, yeah, you're a funny guy. And I said, no, I did. And the book is called I like giving. I like giving. Yeah. It's a compilation. Short stories. Yeah, 44 short stories of people, they're not all my stories who are doing things for other people, wrapped around these seven ways, and certainly not all about money and not all from people with wealth, some that had very little, some with kids. And then I address other topics like sometimes giving's messy. And you could ask me a messy giving story and then I'd have to tell you, but I don't want to take too much time. And let me ask one other thing before I ask you the messy giving story. Say again, the seven ways. Yes. So I and your listeners out here, yeah, we got it in seven times. So there are generosity of thoughts, generosity of words, time, attention, influence, how we share our belongings and money. And so when we take those seven ways, and I'm just going to say them again, because I want to make sure I didn't leave one out and they can edit that. So the seven ways of living generously are thoughts. Use a thought in my mind to think something kind, words, you can build somebody up or we can tear somebody down, our influence, how we share our friendships. You know, I look at how I got to meet Mark. It's because of you. I think that's how that worked. Generosity of money. I mean, that's important, but I can't give big checks every day. And then what about generosity of attention? I kind of wish I left that one out. That's a struggle for me. I've got this phone, pulling at me, dinging, but boy, we know what it's like when we're fully present with somebody, don't we? And then, you know, of course, there's the belongings. We have different ways that we, you know, I'm not telling you what of yours to share, but I come from this belief that what we have is a gift from God and it's kind of his. So how do I share? And, you know, so that kind of covers those seven ways. And, you know, of course, time is in there and we all have, that's the great equalizer, right? Everybody gets 168 every week. Yeah, every week. You do know, I'm sure you do, let me just say it, do you know the name David Brooks? Yes. Okay. David Brooks is a New York Times contributor and has written books and very thoughtful. He's on PBS News on, I think it's Friday night, some. He wrote a book last year called How to Know Someone or How to Know a Person. And his thesis is that you start getting to know a person by paying attention, by gazing. Right? Which is a, you know, that's a, I mean, who can't do that, right? And it's interesting in scripture, in the story of Jesus, how often times it says and he looked on him or the, or, you know, in the, in the, in the acts, Peter and John going up to the temple and there's this lame guy and, and he, and he's asking for money, alms. You know, and of course, if you've been in that culture in those years and even in these years, the, you know, alms or giving things to people who are poor or downtrodden or don't homeless, whatever, is a big deal. And Peter, I think the text says this exactly. He looks at him and says, look at me or look at us. That exchange, there's a neuroscientist say that when you, that when you look at each other, that, that point of paying attention, you are reading each other's brains. Wow. So I'm looking at ears now and you're looking at minds very light reading, okay? Now I've learned something new. That idea of what is it that you have to give, you know, I've heard scores of messages in church times or camps or whatever, of Moses standing in front of the burning bush. And Yahweh, Jehovah says to him, what do you have in your hand? And this whole framework that you're describing, this matrix of seven things, is essentially that question, what do you have in hand, what are you going to do with it, and are you going to hoard it, keep it to yourself, going to put your name on it, what I don't know what you're going to do. So tell us about, tell me about the, this, and you can ask me any questions along the line. So we're going to ask you about a message giving story. Give us, is it a long story? No, no, no, no. I was, you know, in Michigan, Bible study, and guy came in from Nigeria and he started joining the Bible study and raised his hand one day and said, you know, I've a prayer request. I, I want a van. I've got six kids and, you know, I also want to go to the local prison and share my testimony. I'm an evangelist. And so a few of us got together and we thought, you know, let's do we like giving, right? That's when you come together. And we, we got him a very nice used van and I got in the middle of it and we, we put some money together paid for the insurance. His name was William and a few months went by where in the bathroom and washing our hands, I said, hey, William, how's it going at the jail, the ministry of the van? He said, I haven't been able to get there. And I said, why? He said, well, I don't have a license. I said, William, you know, I, the things you take for granted. He went on to explain that every time he would go down and take the test and here he was working a little bit above minimum wage, cleaning the local library, he kept getting failed. I said, well, can I go with you where you're getting your test? Because of his language deal, he had to go to one of those third party neon sign places. So I walked in and I said, hey, how does a guy like William get a license? Oh, well, that's the 149 package. So I pulled out my credit card and we swiped it and two weeks later, William had his license. Now, look out for a green van, I don't know how good of a driver he is, but the point was, that ended up taking about seven more hours. I really cut the story down, but there were a lot of twists and turns. I just assumed he had a license. So sometimes they can get messy. That's a great messy giving story. Well wasn't that a fun start to a conversation. We will pick up the rest of it next podcast time, hopefully before Valentine's Day. And I just am stirred by what happens when people are generous with all the ways they can be generous. It's something that moves the spirit, isn't it? Well, thank you for listening to this podcast. Thank you for subscribing and for so many of you who have reached out to pick up the audio book on Audible or Amazon that we did some time back called Stories I Love to Tell. We're grateful, hopefully the stories are encouraging your heart. That's it for now. Take full signing off. We'll catch you later. Bye bye.