LOVE is? NOT SELF SEEKING

Here we go again, talking about love, Dicphoth with stories from the road here. This is how it reads in Eugene Peterson's paraphrase of a letter to a Greek city thousands of years ago. Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesn't strut. Doesn't have a swelled head. Doesn't force itself on others. Isn't always me first? It's fascinating for me to be able to walk through this passage, not that it's comfortable because I feel myself called out as I go through these things. And today is not the least of those. Here we are. First Corinthians 13 5. It says love is not self-seeking. That's a fascinating combination of words. Last time we talked, it was love is not rude. That's how we speak to others. This time we're talking about the who of my words and actions that that is who are my words or actions focused on. I have a good friend by the name of Mel Johnson. He just turned 90 recently into sharp as attack. That's what I want to be. I want to be 90 and sharp as attack. And he wrote a book that perfectly describes him in terms of how I know him. He's been a counselor for decades and walking with people through challenging times, helping them find the best in themselves and of themselves with the help of God himself. And his little book is called Walk Softly, ego management in an egocentric world. And I just want to introduce you to him by reading a few thoughts from his book. And by the way, you can pick this up on Amazon. There's this one section on page 41 that is entitled The Handsome Youth. And he talks about egotism. Mel talks about egotism here in a very focused way. A clear picture of egotism in its extreme form is seen by looking at an intriguing fable found in Greek mythology. Narcissus, a handsome youth was venturing through the forest when he came upon a clear pool of water shining like silver. Many of you know the story. The grass grew fresh around it and rock sheltered it from the sun, fatigued with hunting, hot and thirsty. He stooped down to drink and saw in the reflective water his image. At first, he thought it was some beautiful water now living in the pool as he gazed with admiration at those bright eyes and glorious locks of hair. He realized it was his image and he fell in love with himself. He brought his lips near to kiss the gorgeous reflection. He plunged his arms in to embrace the beloved. It fled at the touch but returned after the water calmed again and he renewed his fascination. Narcissus could not pull himself away. He lost all thought of food or rest as he hovered over the water gazed upon his likeness. He stared. He stayed. He could only marvel. The romance was all consuming and when he was about to die, Narcissus pined, oh marvelous boy. I love you in vain. Farewell. So today the word Narcissus and means love of self. Someone penned a humorous limerick about this myth. Their once was a nymph named Narcissus who thought himself very delicious. So he stared like a fool at his face in a pool and his folly today is still with us. The egotist, Mel says, perceives everything in relationship to the self. Egotists are known for distorting reality with exaggeration and lies. J.I. Packer with the ologian and author must have been thinking of egotists when he used the phrase man is resolutely kind to himself. In humor James Dashner pens in the kill order of book, oh I'm good seriously. After all these years you'd think I would stop amazing myself but here I am still doing it. Indeed me is the egotist favorite topic of conversation and he goes on, Mel goes on to say that he's conducted research for several years on the subject and I've noticed how casual conversation often takes a one-sided direction when meeting people in various settings. And he talks about for 10 to 15 minutes I listen to talk about other person's life and accomplishments and you would think that then they would engage to hear about their conversation partners interests or life but oftentimes it's not that way or if it is it's minimal before it circles back to itself. Have a friend in California now retired from being a college professor, wonderful guy, he's a specialist in communication, he's a Harley Davidson enthusiast, just a wonderful guy and I haven't been with him for a long time, his name is Randy. But years back he told me of his sister, he said she was really beautiful and this is coming from her brother and so she ended up dating a lot. Now dating if I can just interject this in these modern times is sort of considered very casual meeting of two people who might or might not be seeing other people. The language used today by younger people for something more serious is called going out and that refers to two people in a relationship where they're exclusive with each other and they're not seeing anyone else but dating is a more casual thing and that's what Randy was speaking of and he was talking about his sister and he said that she found out something in going out with young men they'd come to get her at her home, escort her down to the car, open the car door, she would get in, they'd go around getting the other side drive off and she ended up having a method in terms of assessing how the evening was going to go. She would put her hand, her right hand on the seat next to the door away from the driver and when he began to talk she would start counting on the fingers of her one hand how many eyes and knees, how many times the young man would use eye and me in the first 15 minutes. If it got past 10 it was going to be a long night, we wouldn't be having this day to get. So if I take that self-centeredness that idea of self-centeredness and turn it on its head and hear the phrase again, love is not self-seeking, it's not self-loving or self-admiring or self-adoring, love is not self-seeking that is it doesn't seek that which does not belong to it or to put it more specifically is willing to give up for the sake of others even what he's entitled to. That's a fascinating thing, love is willing to give up for the sake of others even what he is entitled to. My life roots when we have the grandchildren over and before that when the kids were younger always insisted that when we had a meal, especially if it were a buffet kind of meal where you'd go through and get your food that the children would go through first that they would eat first at any celebrated gatherings thanksgiving or Christmas or for the July. She'd always say kids go get your food first and I asked her I said where did you get that? And she told me about her grandpa George Harvey Prestonal that would be her mother's father. George Harvey Prestonal was born in a tiny dot of a town in southern Indiana called center point not far from Terahote in Clay County, Indiana and when he was a little boy his dad died and he ended up with a stepfather and that relationship was not good that father was harsh we don't know the particulars so at about age eight or nine he went across town to live with his grandparents. Now his grandparents had 12 children over a span of time these houses as you could appreciate back in the in the late 1800s would not be very large and so at least some of the children would eat in the kitchen and they would eat last and out of that experience George Harvey Prestonal always would insist that the children or grandchildren ate first and so Ruth when they went to the grandparents house a large farmhouse in Modesto, California out there where they had grapes and peaches back in the day because her dad her grandpa was a peach farmer. She always loved going to the grandparents house to be with them but I think she also loved it because those children and she was one of them and grandchildren got to eat first. Her grandmother always had several meats and lots of vegetables on the table because at the young age when they were first married she was maybe 17 or 18 would would cook for threshing crews where they had emigrated to up in the plains of Canada near Saskatoon Saskatchewan so grandma Prestonal always had lots of food on the table but the children and the grandchildren got to eat first. That's what love looks like. Love is willing to give up for the sake of others even what he is entitled to. That's it for today. Our best catch you later. It's dickthroat saying I'll see you next time with stories from the road. Bye bye.