Love Lasts

Well, it's another time for stories to make sense of it all. And I'm Dick Foth. And you know, this is a special time, especially for all of you. Some lovers and old lovers, all you folks who care about each other, Valentine's Day. This is the week. And I want to talk about that. You know, historically, Valentine's Day came out of the history of the Catholic church and back in the day, there were several stories about how St. Valentine's Day came to be. And there were at least three people named Valentine or Valentinus back in the day. And whatever the actual story is, when it celebrated, the most credible thing I think, when it celebrated the middle of February, has to do with the fact that there was a pagan festival, the Roman Catholic church at that time wanted to quote, Christianize it. And so they came up with this piece about St. Valentine. And I'm looking here if you hear papers rustling, it's because I'm rustling papers. So let me just give you a little bit of backstory about Valentine's Day. The Catholic church recognizes at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, all of whom were martyred. One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. And when Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men, because he wanted an army, right? Valentine, realizing the injustice of the degree to fight Claudius, continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that it be put to death. And there was other similar stories. But the point is that that person became a hero. One of the stories is that the imprisoned Valentine actually sent the first Valentine greeting himself after he fell in love with a young girl, possibly his jailer's daughter, who visited him during his confinement. This is a different Valentine. And before his death, it is alleged that he wrote or let her sign from your Valentine, an expression that is still used today. So some people have asked the question, why is it middle of February? And again, one of the, at least plausible explanations is that there was a pagan celebration in mid-February called Luper Callia, which was a fertility festival, and that the Roman church wanted to quote, Christianize that celebration. Whatever the reason for it, here we are in 2022 celebrating Valentine's Day. In addition, the United States, Valentine's Day is celebrating Canada, Mexico, United Kingdom, France, Australia. And in Great Britain, it actually started being celebrated big time around the 17th century by the middle of the 18th century in the 1700s. It was common for friends of all social classes to exchange small tokens of affection, handwritten notes. By 1900 printed cards began to replace written letters due to improvements in printing technology. And by the way, there's a dollar in it for somebody, right? The ready-made cards were an easy way for people to express their emotions in a time when direct expression of one's feelings was discouraged. It's just fascinating to me, by the way, how things evolve over time. Cheap or postage rates help people send cards to each other. In the 1840s, Esther A. Howlin began selling the first mass-produced Valentine's in America. Howlin, known as the mother of Valentine, made elaborate creations. Well, there's my pages turning with real lace ribbons and colorful pictures known as Scrap. Today, according to the greeting card association, an estimated 145 million Valentine's Day cards are sent each year, making Valentine's Day the second-largest card-sending holiday of the year. The only other day where more cards are sent is Christmas. Well, there you have it. Phew, that history piece takes a while. Valentine's Day so becomes this moment in time where it's legit, even expected for you to communicate feelings of care and love and compassion and so forth to those people that you do care about. Well, the person on this planet that I care about the most besides me, you know, that's always a battle. But the person on this planet that I care about the most is this girl that I met years ago named Ruth Jean Blakely. And I have talked Ruth Jean Blakely now both into sitting with me. Hi, Ruth. Hi. I don't know how he talked me into this. This is just my mesmerizing personality. Hey, you know, this is way out of your comfort zone to sit and do this, right? Right. But I just have two or three questions that I want to toss out. And let's just chat about it. We aren't scripted here. So just whatever you say, you know, as I mentioned earlier, we can always edit. So if it scares me too much, it's out. I'm just saying that to you. So when you think of Valentine's Day, what do you think of that takes me back to probably the third grade when before Valentine's Day, we would work in class on a project of making a box that would hold Valentine cards. And we tried to make them as beautiful as we could. And we put a slit in the top of the box where someone else could put a card in. So everybody had one of these boxes in the class? Everyone made one of the boxes. What grade was this? Probably starting in third grade. Okay. So you got a box with an opening in the top. And then we made cards or some of us may have bought them, but mostly I think we made them. And for the people that we wanted to give a card to on Valentine's Day, the teacher's dress that we probably should have a card for every person in the class. So no one felt left out, but I'm not sure that happens. So we were all a little anxious on Valentine's Day when everyone circulated around the class and put their valentines in particular boxes. So the whole class may not, it might be those three or four people that one might have feelings for, is that the thought? Well, not according to the teacher, but it could have happened. Could have happened. And so on Valentine's Day then, when all the people had put valentines in the boxes, we would be able to open them and see who sent us a valentine. And then we'd have a party. So maybe the party was so that if we didn't get too many, we'd still have a nice day. We'd still have a part. So do you remember getting Valentine's card? I do. I don't remember the names of who gave them to me, but that was a pretty special day. See, I don't remember any of that. I was in the third grade in Wildrose School in Manrovia, California just back from India, our parents were there. And Miss Colbe was our teacher, but I don't remember any of that. Well, we were starting with third grade. I was in a pretty large school in Portland, Oregon, one of the districts. And so maybe they were a little up on the times. Maybe they were. Portland was ahead of LA. So when I say love, you know, loves an accordion word, I say this all the time. I said it once to the grandchildren, you know, I said, love is an accordion word. And one of the kids said, so grandpa, like, what's an accordion? He said, well, it's sorry. I don't know how I explained it. It's sort of like it's a small piano that you strap to your chest. And it has bellows like a bagpipe and you make, I don't know what I said. But by an accordion word, I mean, you know, I love pizza, the quality pizza. I love the Rocky Mountains, the Pacific Ocean. You know, I love to be out in the countryside. I love to be in the city. So I can mean it. Make it mean a lot of things. When I say love to you, what comes to mind? I think family first comes to mind. And I was so fortunate to have parents that showed me in so many different ways that they loved me. They were there for me. And though they could be strict at times, they always wanted to do what was best for me. And not only my immediate family, but until third grade, I lived on my grandparents' ranch, my maternal grandparents. And my grandfather had bought enough property for all of his eight children to have a piece if they wanted and lived nearby. So this is in the early part of the 1900s that he did this. Right. He came down from homesteading and Saskatchewan, Canada. And he landed just outside, just outside Modesto, California and what they, that TV program of 100 years ago called the Big Valley. That's the San Joaquin Valley. Right. He had a, he actually had a peach ranch. And I can remember walking through peach trees. And I could walk right to the back door that was always open of their house and walk in. And not only that, I had, at one side of my grandparents' house, three homes, events and uncles. And on the other side of the house, another three homes. So I had an extended family that I just felt comfortable with. They accepted me. They showed their love to me. I had an uncle that always wanted me to kiss him and all of the cousins. Oh, I don't know if we want to go here. All the cousins. And we, we always tried to stay away from him and hide from him. But just so fortunate to have that love. And then when I met you, which I hadn't dated really, I'm an introvert. I don't talk very much, but we were class officers together at a little Bible college. So now we've morphed into how we got together. Right. So love fits in here. Right. So the way you're describing love in not a some ethereal thing or an idea or a quality, you're describing it in concrete terms. Right. You go family on the street, you get together every now and again, you have food, all that sort of thing. Okay, let's get to us. Right. Fooey on those people. That's what it is. And how in the world did we ever get together? How did we? That's a good question. We were class officers together. And so we did have chances to be together at meetings and discuss at the college. And I think the key word to the whole thing was your curiosity. It was the fact that you were a huge talker and you wanted to figure out why I wasn't. Well, nothing has changed. We're still there. I think we're still there. You know, I love that I'm going to say this for the folks who are listening. A couple of years ago, you were on the internet and you looked up introvert or something. And you found a mantra that said introverts of the world unite everyone to his own room. Right. And I'm an extrovert. You say that I can talk to a wall and probably respond. Right. So how did we get my curiosity about the cute girl from the big valley? Keep talking. Tell me how this works. I want to hear this story one more time. We had to come up with a date for a dinner. And this we means the class officers. And we were each to invite someone. And I think maybe you realize that that would be quite difficult for me to ask someone to come with me as a date. And so you asked me. So that was the beginning. How did it go? I don't remember much about it except I was very glad I didn't have to go up to send you a man. And ask him for a date. So here we are. That was 60 years ago. Right. We're coming up on 59 years married in July of this year. Now how have we stayed together? I mean like, you know, that's a lot of years. It is a lot of years. But I think both of us really had in our hearts that we wanted to make a goal of it. We would hang in there and we would figure out a way even though we were so different. I think that was a mystery in a way that through the years we could uncover or learn a little bit more about what made the other person tick. And I think we had seen some marriages fail. And so we were very much determined that we were going to make ours. Okay. And so we had some rough spots. We've had some fights or snits. Right. Christian discussion, whatever. Anyway, but we have, we've made it and it's been great. I think it's the older you get, the more you enjoy each other as companions and friends. You know, I think that idea of mystery that you just introduced there is a key deal. That there's something about love expressed that can't be dissected or analyzed or put in a test tube or under a laser kind of assessor, if you will. It isn't metrics in love or a different kind of metric, a different kind of standard. And I think the fact that continuing to want to be together, well, you know, because I travel a fair amount sometimes. And there are many times where I say, man, I wish Ruth were here with me and you're at home saying, where do you go? I wish you were here with me, right? Right, right. And also, a lot of times, we find ourselves saying when the other person's explaining something about their life, we say, I never knew that. And that's kind of fun to keep discovering, I think. Yeah, because you say stuff from your history back about some item or some place that I thought I should have heard by now, but it just popped up along the way. You know, some folks listening say, you know, I shouldn't love be smooth sailing. Well, life isn't smooth sailing. So you have ups and downs inside. You remember the time when the kids were small. Again, I often use this phrase. Four under the age of seven. And we were in Illinois. And I came home from work that day and walked in and you were standing at the door and you had been crying. Because you've been trying to, you know, corral these four rambunctious kids through it. And you just, it was back in the day when people generally only had one car and you put your hand out and said, give me the keys to the car. I'm going away and never coming back. Do you remember that moment? I do remember that moment. I remember that moment. I'm saying, your God, help me here. So, so I gave you the keys. Yes, we did. What did you do? Well, I wasn't thinking very straight at that moment. I was just totally fed up with a lot of things. And so I went out to get in the car, but I took all the kids with me. So that was the mistake. So we just drove around a while and then came back home. So here's a clue for those of you. If you're going to leave, don't take all the kids with you when you go. Well, you know, it strikes me that when you read the scriptures, the core command or the core thing for which we're designed, is it says, you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, strength, mind, and love your neighbor as yourself. You're my closest neighbor, Ruth Jean-Faith. And thank you for loving me all these years and letting me love you. I have one other thought that I forgot to mention. And that is through my parents, I learned to love God. And they had such a faith and just through their actions, and I wanted to be like them. And so that brought the whole thing of loving God, learning about Jesus into my life. That's a very important part of love. Absolutely. You're one of my favorite quotes, which isn't mine. It's borrowed from somebody and he couldn't remember where he got it. So it's public domain. Love is the accurate estimate and the adequate supply of another person's needs. Love is the accurate estimate and adequate supply of another person's needs. And whenever we used to do those marriage seminars, you know, we used to do marriage works after we'd been married 20, 25 years, and we knew more than we do now, we used to do those seminars. And you would always say, be sure to tell them that no human being can absolutely meet all the needs of another human being. You would always say that. It needs something else, someone else, in this case, in order to make that work. You know, my favorite thing in how our courtship developed was we came to that place where I was afraid to use the L word. I was afraid to use that with you. And because my parents' own relationship was coming apart at that time. And you don't like me to share this, but I'm going to put it in here. We can cut it out if you mix it, then we're done with that. But, you know, I wanted to tell you, I loved you, and would you marry me all that stuff. And I didn't have the guts. I couldn't bring myself there, and you wrote me a note. Because I think this is generally true. This isn't absolute. But I think women, ladies, do the card thing, do the writing thing better than guys. We're just that sort of a blind spot, or we don't go there very often, generally. And again, that's a generalization. So don't try to take that to the bank. But you wrote me this note, this piece of prose, that would be like Elizabethan English. And it just said, ask for my white gloved hand. The hills to Pearl will turn. The sand to diamonds. Ask for my lipstickist, each star of the setting of a diadem shall be. But ask for my love. And heaven to earth shall come. My love be thine. And I read that, and I said, hey, hey, hey. I know you think it's cheesy, don't you? I do. Why? Why do you think it's cheesy? I just do. And I think it was something written that I wrote for just for you. Oh, and now I've shared it with the world several times over. Yes, you did. Well, we'll probably have to talk this through, right? Right. There's that love thing again. Ruthie, thanks for doing this with me. And we have folks who listen in. You want to say goodbye to him, and then we'll sign off. Goodbye. Goodbye, folks. This is Dick and Ruth both. On Valentine's week, signing off, saying we'll catch you later. And thank you for those of you who do subscribe and those who have thought about it. And just have that thought. Think about what does love look like in a concrete way? Not some just idea way, but it is a concrete expression of caring. Well, that's it for today. And I really like music that expresses love. That's one of the largest, maybe the largest genre in the world. There are millions of love songs that have been written and recorded. But a few years ago, our son-in-law van wrote a song called Changing Me. Your love is changing my heart, Lord. And we have that as a sign off today. So listen up and joy. God bless. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.